The Horny Chapel Episode 3: Special Guest Keiko Agena Talks Purity and Gilmore Girls

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[00:00:07] Then I think she endures verbal abuse for a season and she endures perhaps being smacked one night,

[00:00:15] and then she seeks help from the church.

[00:00:17] There is a pile of dead bodies behind the Marseille bus, and by God's grace it'll be a mountain by the time we're done.

[00:00:24] You either get on the bus or you get run over by the bus. Those are the options.

[00:00:27] There's nothing holy about writing discrimination into the law, and I am tired of communities of faith being weaponized

[00:00:37] because the only time religious freedom is invoked is in the name of bigotry and discrimination.

[00:00:43] I'm tired of it.

[00:00:45] Hi, I'm Nate, producer and co-host on the Full Mutuality Podcast. Let's talk about inequality.

[00:00:51] It's everywhere. Whether it's rooted in race, gender, ability or sexuality, there's bound to be an imbalance in power, influence, representation and access.

[00:01:01] On our show we want to explore areas of religion, culture and society where justice is needed in order to bring about true mutuality.

[00:01:09] I hope you'll join us for some enlightening, fun and at times uncomfortable conversations as we envision a world where everyone can live free from systems and structures

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[00:01:40] I'm Prisca and welcome to The Horny Chapel, a limited series podcast where Scott Okamoto and I dive head first into the wild, wild world of evangelical purity culture.

[00:01:51] In each episode we discuss purity culture in detail, highlighting both its absurdity and the damage caused by an abstinence-only rhetoric.

[00:02:00] We explore how our AAPI cultural influences combined with the misogynistic sexual miseducation from the church led to a unique brand of repression.

[00:02:09] But don't fret, dear listener, we also share how we found our way to a sex-positive mindset after breaking free.

[00:02:16] What's up everybody? Welcome back to The Horny Chapel!

[00:02:20] Chapel's in session!

[00:02:21] Hey, did you miss us? Did you miss communion because now you owe more tithe?

[00:02:27] Put it in the bucket.

[00:02:28] Have some wine.

[00:02:29] Have some wine.

[00:02:30] And some crackers.

[00:02:31] And some cheese.

[00:02:31] Oh wait, sorry that's not part of the body or the blood but...

[00:02:34] Communion would have been better with cheese.

[00:02:36] Honestly, it was charcuterie.

[00:02:38] Yeah, they missed an opportunity.

[00:02:40] 100%.

[00:02:41] I feel like they should just sell prosciutto in the lobby.

[00:02:44] Jesus' body is more wonderful and complex than a cracker, I think.

[00:02:52] I think we're doing Jesus wrong.

[00:02:54] Right, you need that funk.

[00:02:55] Yeah, some cheese and meat.

[00:02:57] That's what the body's made of. Interesting smells.

[00:02:59] The wine is blood. That's cool.

[00:03:01] Yeah, that's great.

[00:03:02] Complex, the very color.

[00:03:04] The tarot is palpable.

[00:03:06] And then a cracker.

[00:03:09] Not... yeah.

[00:03:12] My church used to use dumpling skins that were toasted in the toaster as the communion bread

[00:03:18] because it was uneasted.

[00:03:20] And it's unleavened, yeah.

[00:03:21] More biblical.

[00:03:22] Very biblical.

[00:03:24] And actually quite tasty if I may say so myself.

[00:03:27] Yeah.

[00:03:28] A little bit like they would get nice and crispy, it paired nicely with the mannish of its wine.

[00:03:34] It was low key a slay, I'm not gonna lie.

[00:03:36] Alright, well...

[00:03:38] Good flavor pairing if anyone needs to try something at home.

[00:03:42] It's a tip for all you people still in church.

[00:03:44] There you go, and add a little Gouda.

[00:03:45] Bring your own, you know, walking Gouda.

[00:03:49] Have it ready to go.

[00:03:50] Bring your own cheese to communion.

[00:03:52] But who are we bringing into the chapel today?

[00:03:54] We're bringing in someone that we know.

[00:03:58] Yeah.

[00:03:58] And have known.

[00:03:59] One of my literal most favorite people in the planet, on the planet.

[00:04:06] Yeah, me too.

[00:04:07] She's great and she has a religious background as we do.

[00:04:10] Yes.

[00:04:11] And she played a character on TV.

[00:04:16] Yeah, back in the early 2000s.

[00:04:18] Went through some severe religious trauma.

[00:04:21] Ooh, you some might even say suffered at the hands of purity culture.

[00:04:26] Yeah, I would.

[00:04:27] And I didn't even watch all the episodes like you.

[00:04:30] Yeah, I am a big fan of the show, big fan of this character.

[00:04:33] This character actually helped me map my way out of the church.

[00:04:38] So I will be forever indebted to this character.

[00:04:41] And if you don't know who it is yet, we're gonna reveal it.

[00:04:44] We can say.

[00:04:45] Three, two, one.

[00:04:47] We have Keiko again from Gailmore Girls who played Lane Kim.

[00:04:51] Yes.

[00:04:52] And so full disclosure, you and I know Keiko very well.

[00:04:56] And we don't really talk that much about her work and her Gailmore Girls stuff.

[00:05:02] No, we're just singing karaoke and dancing.

[00:05:04] Yeah, yeah.

[00:05:05] And sometimes with beverage.

[00:05:07] Sometimes.

[00:05:07] Always clear.

[00:05:09] Right.

[00:05:10] And so this, we were hoping, you know, she's on her way.

[00:05:14] She's in Atlanta now.

[00:05:16] And she would end at the time she was on her way to Atlanta to do this play.

[00:05:19] And she was busy and packing and we're trying to squeeze this in.

[00:05:22] And I was like, I think I asked, can we do 10 minutes, 15 minutes?

[00:05:26] Yeah.

[00:05:26] And she said, of course.

[00:05:27] Yeah.

[00:05:28] And then we just started talking and.

[00:05:31] She opened up with so honest.

[00:05:33] And it made sure like, is this okay?

[00:05:34] We went past 15 and she's like, she's like, I have all the time.

[00:05:37] So we got a full episode.

[00:05:40] Yeah.

[00:05:40] This conversation.

[00:05:42] Full hour with Keiko.

[00:05:43] Yeah.

[00:05:43] And so yeah, we talk about for all you Gailmore Girls fans, we, you know.

[00:05:49] We dish.

[00:05:50] Yeah.

[00:05:51] You asked great questions.

[00:05:53] We talked about the whole Adam Brody thing.

[00:05:56] Okay.

[00:05:57] I don't know who that is, but that's one of the love interests.

[00:06:00] One of the love interests.

[00:06:01] Yeah.

[00:06:02] And we still talked about purity culture and sort of how it affected her own life,

[00:06:07] but also how she saw Lane Kim's life affected by high control religion, complex

[00:06:14] relationship with her mom and in the show.

[00:06:17] And so shout out to Emily Carota who played her mom.

[00:06:21] Oh, the queen.

[00:06:22] It was really interesting to see both the parallels and ways in which her life

[00:06:26] differed from Lane and we kind of got into the specifics of Keiko's

[00:06:30] religious upbringing and really dove into kind of her approach to playing a

[00:06:37] character like Lane Kim.

[00:06:39] Yeah.

[00:06:39] And maybe what responsibility she did or didn't feel to have an accurate

[00:06:44] representation and how even the writers of that show, you know, had a lived

[00:06:50] experience and how it wasn't poking fun or making fun, but actually finding

[00:06:55] humor in the reality of the situation, which is often what we're trying to do on

[00:06:59] this podcast.

[00:07:00] Yeah.

[00:07:00] Yeah.

[00:07:00] That's pretty much it.

[00:07:02] Yeah.

[00:07:02] So let's get into it.

[00:07:05] Oh my gosh.

[00:07:06] I'm so excited for y'all to hear this.

[00:07:07] I know it was, I was smiling the whole time.

[00:07:11] Well, enjoy our little conversation with Keiko again and we will talk to you after.

[00:08:36] Thanks for joining us.

[00:08:37] Hello.

[00:08:38] Oh my gosh.

[00:08:39] Hello Scott.

[00:08:40] Hello Priscilla.

[00:08:41] Hello, hello.

[00:08:42] Prisca.

[00:08:43] Your biggest fans in the house really.

[00:08:48] No surprise.

[00:08:49] No question.

[00:08:49] I don't know if I've seen every episode of Gilmore Girls.

[00:08:54] I guarantee you that I have to.

[00:08:56] Yeah, yeah.

[00:08:57] That's why I know I'm with a good company.

[00:08:59] But I saw every episode of Prodigal Son.

[00:09:03] Okay.

[00:09:03] Yeah.

[00:09:03] No, I'm behind.

[00:09:05] I have not watched Prodigal Son yet but I grew up watching Gilmore Girls and Lane Kim was

[00:09:10] my girl.

[00:09:12] She probably saved my life.

[00:09:14] I because of my background and being a PK and everything I literally hid CDs under my mattress.

[00:09:20] Oh dang.

[00:09:22] Had a hidden Green Day poster in my closet behind my clothes just to be like, I'm a

[00:09:28] rebel but no one knows.

[00:09:29] The episode that you that you that Lane dies her hair is like Canon in my household.

[00:09:35] Oh, that is so sweet.

[00:09:37] So are we telling the people how close we are in real life?

[00:09:41] We could pretend like we've never met.

[00:09:43] We're such good friends in real life.

[00:09:45] This is an awkward time in the podcast where like, do people know how we're such good

[00:09:50] friends?

[00:09:50] I know.

[00:09:50] We're talking with Kiko Agena.

[00:09:54] Yeah.

[00:09:54] Yeah.

[00:09:55] Oh God, don't do that.

[00:09:59] Today on the podcast.

[00:10:00] Did I say that right?

[00:10:02] No.

[00:10:04] Oh man.

[00:10:06] But yes, we're very excited to have you here and to talk a little bit about your

[00:10:10] character Lane Kim who was under purity culture times 10.

[00:10:15] Mm-hmm.

[00:10:17] She was well because the character is Seventh Day Adventist.

[00:10:21] And I don't know if that is naturally more strict, but at least the way that

[00:10:26] Gilmore Girls portrayed it.

[00:10:28] Yeah.

[00:10:28] It was extremely.

[00:10:30] It was in the ballpark of a lot of different Christian traditions.

[00:10:33] So for sure.

[00:10:34] For sure.

[00:10:35] I mean when you went into playing that character did were you feeling that a

[00:10:41] lot of things in her life were kind of preposterous or did you kind of feel

[00:10:44] find a grounded way into that because it was like her mother was so strict.

[00:10:50] There was like so many extremes.

[00:10:52] Like you couldn't eat certain things.

[00:10:54] You couldn't interact with boys.

[00:10:55] You couldn't do all these things like as an actress approaching that.

[00:10:59] What was that like?

[00:11:00] Oh, you know, that's a good question.

[00:11:05] Preposterous is a great word because they were like if you just think

[00:11:09] about the facts themselves preposterous is accurate.

[00:11:12] It's just like so extreme.

[00:11:14] But I think when I don't know if everyone's like this, but as an

[00:11:17] actress, when I'm when I'm reading it, I believe it or at least I have

[00:11:24] to find a way to believe it for myself that this is actually real

[00:11:29] and has happened to someone.

[00:11:30] And the crazy thing about life is that as preposterous as any of

[00:11:35] these things are, someone has lived it.

[00:11:37] That's the insane thing about being human on this planet.

[00:11:42] And even if it's just one or a few people, someone has literally

[00:11:46] lived the exact situation.

[00:11:51] So you kind of just dig deep into that and play everything that's real.

[00:11:55] And Emily was so good that she finds that.

[00:12:00] She's one there is yes.

[00:12:04] She's finding she's the one that has to say all of those lines

[00:12:08] and she's able to find the bedrock of something that feels real

[00:12:11] to her, which is great.

[00:12:12] I think what that's like Scott said, like the specific experience

[00:12:17] was my experience and I'm sure it was Helen Pye's experience too.

[00:12:21] But right, right?

[00:12:22] Like, like I think Emily Crota playing Mrs. Kim helped me find

[00:12:28] humor in my mom because you know when you're living under it,

[00:12:32] it's hard to find humor.

[00:12:33] And my mom was so strict and had, you know, all of these

[00:12:38] she wanted to be the ideal Christian mother.

[00:12:42] And it was hard growing up under that to fully understand her motivations.

[00:12:46] But Mrs. Kim as a character helped me find the humor and how my mom was too.

[00:12:52] And I feel that Lane Kim's character for me in so many ways

[00:12:57] helped me find secret rebellion.

[00:13:01] I think that was like, you know, just her whole beanbag chair set up

[00:13:04] with the disco lights in her closet was that escape in my mind

[00:13:09] that Lane Kim had became my escape to which was very specific,

[00:13:14] but very, you know, emboldening, I would say.

[00:13:20] That's so cool.

[00:13:21] So yeah, I was a fan.

[00:13:23] That's amazing.

[00:13:24] Yeah.

[00:13:25] I love that there was that little little, it's almost like

[00:13:30] a little vacation that you can go to in your mind of finding that comfort.

[00:13:38] It was my.

[00:13:38] At least I imagine.

[00:13:40] Yeah, but Scott, I don't know how far you got into the Gilmore Girls lore,

[00:13:45] but one of my biggest gripes and I think the gripes of a lot of the fandom

[00:13:48] to kind of jump ahead to season seven is that Lane Kim growing up

[00:13:55] at this very strict household, Seventh Day Adventist went to a gender separated college

[00:14:02] or was set to go to a gender separated college.

[00:14:06] Yes, ends up marrying this guy, saving herself for marriage and then having sex

[00:14:13] on their honeymoon and having a terrible experience

[00:14:18] and immediately getting pregnant with twins.

[00:14:20] Yeah, which was so it was brutal.

[00:14:24] It was very, I think as someone who kind of mapped my life according to Lane Kim,

[00:14:28] like, you know, when she goes on tour, I'm like, I want to go on tour.

[00:14:31] When she's going, you know, doing like cool town stuff, I want to do cool town stuff.

[00:14:35] Mapping my life so closely to her, that was an enraging kind of ending

[00:14:40] on the Lane Kim arc.

[00:14:42] So what was that like for you having to having to play that having to experience

[00:14:47] that were you upset or did you kind of just play it by the script?

[00:14:50] What was that like for you?

[00:14:54] I think there's two things.

[00:14:55] I think in the moment, I was excited to read honestly anything that my character was in.

[00:15:09] So my name was on the page.

[00:15:10] I celebrate writing a little happy dance and then you just try to, you know,

[00:15:14] you find the humor in it and you try to tell a good story.

[00:15:17] I think there it's heartbreaking to hear you say enraged, you know,

[00:15:22] because I can feel that from you.

[00:15:23] And I think that that point of view came afterwards.

[00:15:28] I think when I looked back on her and had some kind of separation from that

[00:15:35] through time and thinking, oh, I want to protect her.

[00:15:42] And I said this in other places, but I, you know, I do there is a part of me

[00:15:48] that wishes that there was a different path for her than that.

[00:15:51] I mean, who would want that path?

[00:15:53] That is not great.

[00:15:54] That is not that particular path is not the path to make sense though.

[00:15:58] When you think about purity culture and what it does to women and it forces you to put down your sexuality

[00:16:03] and your humanity and have your husband be your first sexual partner.

[00:16:09] And of course it doesn't go well.

[00:16:10] That's kind of a joke in Christian narratives.

[00:16:14] So even though it was enraging,

[00:16:17] it's enraging because it's kind of common.

[00:16:21] That's fair.

[00:16:22] God, that's horrible.

[00:16:23] And I do want to separate out that I thought you played it extremely well.

[00:16:28] And just like you played it so funny like that scene where you're like cool.

[00:16:33] So sex is bad.

[00:16:35] Thanks for not breaking it to me Rory.

[00:16:38] Why the fuck did you lie to me?

[00:16:40] I thought that was so fucking funny.

[00:16:42] The delivery and like the truth of that because I think we've all had that moment.

[00:16:49] But you're right Scott.

[00:16:51] Like I think that this is a trope in this is kind of the logical endpoint to a lot of purity culture.

[00:16:59] You know, you save yourself and then you're kind of let down by what sex does and doesn't offer you.

[00:17:07] Can I tell a quick story about this?

[00:17:10] Yeah.

[00:17:11] So we were at a Shins gig while Kako's character was pregnant and Jerry was pregnant.

[00:17:20] And so I turn around and Jerry's gone.

[00:17:23] You know, it's a lot of the band's playing and I'm like, wait, where'd she go?

[00:17:26] And I look at the back of the bar and I see Jerry showing Kako how she walks.

[00:17:33] She was like seven months pregnant.

[00:17:35] She was big.

[00:17:36] And so like Kako's like studying her, like the way her posture is.

[00:17:41] The way she holds her hands on her stomach and they're both doing this weird penguin walk at the back of the bar.

[00:17:51] So that was our contribution to Lane's sad talk.

[00:17:57] Contribution to pop culture.

[00:18:00] That's like his historical story.

[00:18:01] And it's in a bar also.

[00:18:02] Yeah, it's in a bar.

[00:18:04] She wasn't drinking. I don't think.

[00:18:08] Yeah, we don't want to start that.

[00:18:11] Just a beer on her pregnant belly, but she wasn't drinking.

[00:18:13] Yeah, yeah, it's very useful to have that extra self.

[00:18:17] But how does Lane's experience kind of differ from your experience in terms of sex education,

[00:18:24] in terms of sexual expression?

[00:18:30] Well, if I'm thinking about growing up.

[00:18:33] So I grew up and I think I've talked to Scott a little bit about this.

[00:18:37] I grew up as Southern Baptist, but Southern Baptist in Hawaii in a Japanese congregation.

[00:18:45] So it's very different than I think when people think of what Southern Baptist is in the continental United States.

[00:18:53] The Black Bible Belt.

[00:18:54] Yeah.

[00:18:54] Yeah.

[00:18:55] So when I say Southern Baptist, you have to imagine also it's in Hawaii, also it's in Japanese.

[00:19:01] But my mother is very Christian.

[00:19:06] Okay.

[00:19:07] Not to the extreme that Mrs. Kim is, but to my mother, sugar is like that's how she swears.

[00:19:14] Oh, wow.

[00:19:16] There is no swearing.

[00:19:17] The word sugar?

[00:19:18] There's no swearing what?

[00:19:20] It's like oh sugar.

[00:19:21] Yeah, exactly.

[00:19:22] That's the swear word?

[00:19:22] Oh fudge.

[00:19:24] Exactly.

[00:19:25] Oh yeah, I don't think she would say fudge.

[00:19:26] Fudge is too close.

[00:19:28] That's a little yes.

[00:19:28] Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[00:19:29] That's two letters.

[00:19:30] It shares two letters.

[00:19:31] We'll take that out.

[00:19:32] Yeah, bleep it out.

[00:19:34] I'm a filthy, I'm a filthy pastor's kid.

[00:19:38] In case your mother would that matter?

[00:19:40] So that was my, so that was my, so I, you know, I grew up with the singing hymns and,

[00:19:46] you know, in church on Sundays and all of that stuff.

[00:19:49] Till about probably about 12, when I started to question about like, I don't,

[00:19:53] I don't know.

[00:19:53] I'm not sure about all of this and kind of broke away from,

[00:19:57] started the break away from Christianity.

[00:19:59] But so, you know, as a young kid, a lot of that is embedded in me as well.

[00:20:08] And so I, well certainly as far as differences,

[00:20:15] my family life growing up around that is, was certainly not as strict as Mrs.

[00:20:22] Kim, but I would say that I definitely had influences from being an Asian woman,

[00:20:29] you know, born in 1973 and being raised around the church with a fairly Christian

[00:20:39] conservative mom.

[00:20:41] You know, she's not, she's not tough.

[00:20:43] My mom is very goofy and silly and laughs a lot.

[00:20:46] But, you know, I think that her religion is pretty important to her.

[00:20:52] It's definitely important to her, I would say.

[00:20:55] So the undercurrent is kind of similar?

[00:20:57] I think, I, you know, it's weird to say that because they're so,

[00:21:04] they're so different in my mind.

[00:21:06] But, you know, if you use the word undercurrent, maybe.

[00:21:09] The system in which you exist is the same.

[00:21:12] Yes.

[00:21:13] The rules, maybe just not enforce the same, but it's there.

[00:21:19] Right.

[00:21:20] The system of it, yeah.

[00:21:21] And then, you know, also we live in a Christian nation.

[00:21:26] Right.

[00:21:26] You know, I mean, I don't want that to be the case.

[00:21:33] Yeah.

[00:21:33] I think that's the, if you're talking about overall systems,

[00:21:36] it feels like that sort of.

[00:21:38] Yeah, puritanical.

[00:21:40] Yeah, I don't, yeah, I don't, it's not what I would choose,

[00:21:42] but I think that that's the air in which I was growing up.

[00:21:47] And certainly it's around us.

[00:21:49] And so growing up in that and then playing this character,

[00:21:52] did you ever feel kind of this conflict between,

[00:21:56] are we making fun of, are we making fun of this?

[00:21:59] Or are we having fun with this?

[00:22:01] Like, was there ever that kind of line that got uncomfortable?

[00:22:05] Oh, good question.

[00:22:09] No, I never felt bad about it.

[00:22:13] And that was the correct answer.

[00:22:15] Well, you played it so sincerely and so,

[00:22:18] yeah, so like, it didn't feel like you were making fun of it.

[00:22:22] It felt like you were accurately portraying a lifestyle

[00:22:26] that does exist as you said before.

[00:22:29] So, yeah.

[00:22:31] Oh, right.

[00:22:32] That's all I saw.

[00:22:32] Yeah.

[00:22:32] And I guess we are fortunate because,

[00:22:36] I mean, we had you and Emily Corota playing these characters.

[00:22:39] And so I think at times,

[00:22:41] even if the writing could have been maybe making fun,

[00:22:44] you guys like really, I mean, not to, you know,

[00:22:46] not give credit to the writing,

[00:22:47] but I just think that we had two characters

[00:22:49] that took it very seriously,

[00:22:51] two actresses who took it very seriously

[00:22:53] and found the truth behind it

[00:22:55] and the sincerity behind it.

[00:22:58] Because I think if it were given to lesser people,

[00:23:00] it could have just been a joke.

[00:23:02] Oh, sure.

[00:23:04] I think that maybe it is because of the way I grew up,

[00:23:10] but I, and to be honest,

[00:23:14] even more so as I grow older,

[00:23:15] but there are a lot of times when you have people in your life

[00:23:20] that you love deeply to the root of your being

[00:23:24] that have a different worldview than you do.

[00:23:30] And I think that that reality is just,

[00:23:39] it's so understandable.

[00:23:41] It's that, okay, I know two things.

[00:23:43] I know that I love you deeply to the core of my being

[00:23:46] and I know that you have a different worldview from me

[00:23:48] and I know that,

[00:23:49] so how do I go forward in this space,

[00:23:54] in this, because I'm not cutting you out of my life,

[00:23:56] how do I go forward with you and find the ways

[00:23:59] in which I can be in loving space with you?

[00:24:05] I think.

[00:24:06] So, I think that was always the interesting thing about Lane,

[00:24:11] because Lane Kim who doesn't love her mom is not interesting.

[00:24:15] Lane Kim who is only about rebellion,

[00:24:17] that's a boring character, I think.

[00:24:19] That's no fun.

[00:24:20] She's just a bitch.

[00:24:21] Yeah, I don't even,

[00:24:23] that's not the word that I wanted to use,

[00:24:25] but I don't know.

[00:24:26] Yeah, I don't know.

[00:24:28] And the depth of that, you know,

[00:24:30] and I guess this is in the performance in the writing,

[00:24:32] but when you realize that Lane's mom's mom is a Buddhist

[00:24:36] who's also as devout

[00:24:38] and she's hiding her Christian life from that,

[00:24:40] you know, and just,

[00:24:41] I love the layers of that generational like,

[00:24:44] eager to please the previous generation.

[00:24:47] Gosh, yeah.

[00:24:47] You know, that was really powerful and at,

[00:24:50] and it's so true, it's so real.

[00:24:52] If you grow, we all are,

[00:24:54] have religiosity in different ways.

[00:24:57] And just because it is or isn't in a more prescribed format,

[00:25:00] doesn't mean that we don't have that.

[00:25:02] And so I think that was really beautiful.

[00:25:04] And so I do want to ask you like,

[00:25:06] what did Lane help you, Keiko,

[00:25:10] discover about yourself?

[00:25:14] Dang, you are coming at it with these good questions.

[00:25:17] I had 16 years to prepare.

[00:25:19] Yeah. I feel like the dam has burst here.

[00:25:24] Do you want Keiko on the pod for half an hour?

[00:25:27] I'm like, sure.

[00:25:28] We're not hanging out at far bar right now.

[00:25:30] We're getting into it.

[00:25:31] I know. We're getting to it.

[00:25:33] Oh, you know, I think that

[00:25:39] one of the things,

[00:25:41] and this is a little different than necessarily my relationship

[00:25:44] with my mother,

[00:25:46] but I,

[00:25:49] the ironic thing is that I actually didn't have very strong

[00:25:52] female friendships in my life when I started playing Lane

[00:25:57] much older than her.

[00:25:58] I was like 26.

[00:26:03] my friend,

[00:26:05] Grace, Joe,

[00:26:08] who I'm very close to is probably,

[00:26:10] I would say my earliest

[00:26:14] close female friend

[00:26:16] and I think I learned that a little bit through

[00:26:23] Gilmore Girls

[00:26:28] it took a minute for me to open up that side of my heart

[00:26:32] that was kind of very calcified maybe or structured.

[00:26:41] So I think that's one of the main things I learned

[00:26:45] from playing that character because she's so much about being

[00:26:48] a best friend and being supportive and having a

[00:26:50] and that's another thing that I like about Gilmore Girls.

[00:26:53] There's a lot of, you know,

[00:26:54] we're talking about purity culture,

[00:26:56] but one of the things is,

[00:26:57] is that there are a lot of

[00:27:01] complex female relationships in there.

[00:27:04] A lot like with Lorelai and her mom,

[00:27:06] especially, you know,

[00:27:07] talk about I love you,

[00:27:08] but I don't know how to show it in a way that supports you.

[00:27:12] Like they're just, that's that fight lasted all seven seasons.

[00:27:16] And we love to watch it because it's so under,

[00:27:19] I get that female relationship.

[00:27:21] So relatable.

[00:27:22] Yeah.

[00:27:23] And I think it's one of the first shows that really,

[00:27:25] you know, for the Bechtel test or any, you know, kind of

[00:27:28] just breaking, it's ripping apart just these kind of

[00:27:32] misogynistic tropes and these like, you know,

[00:27:34] worlds in which women cannot be complex creatures

[00:27:37] in and of themselves.

[00:27:38] Yeah.

[00:27:39] And I think, yeah.

[00:27:40] That was delicious to see.

[00:27:41] I thought it was tasty.

[00:27:45] Tasty.

[00:27:45] And even to see, I mean,

[00:27:49] I think a care, because another thing I really related to

[00:27:53] in the arc of Lane Kim was when she leaves home,

[00:27:57] you know, and she's working at Luke's and

[00:27:59] it's in, and she's, you know, in her band,

[00:28:02] but she's still not,

[00:28:06] she's still not necessarily free from her mother's reach

[00:28:11] and she's not.

[00:28:12] I guess what I'm saying is she didn't just suddenly become

[00:28:15] like really promiscuous.

[00:28:17] And she didn't suddenly become, yeah, she was still,

[00:28:22] you know, it's okay.

[00:28:23] I guess what I'm saying is this.

[00:28:25] Sometimes I think my mom thinks I am this crazy rebel

[00:28:28] who is just devoid of any morality anymore

[00:28:30] because I'm not in the church.

[00:28:31] But I think the truth of the matter is

[00:28:33] I sit right outside of what she would picture

[00:28:35] as the ideal daughter.

[00:28:37] And I saw that in Lane where all the only thing

[00:28:40] that put her outside of her mom's kind of like strict fence

[00:28:44] was the desire to have to explore a little bit

[00:28:48] and to do music.

[00:28:51] And that tension there was so specific and so sweet

[00:28:55] and so painful of just like, I'm not this,

[00:28:58] I'm not trying to be an opposing force to you

[00:29:01] and what you, you know, live for.

[00:29:04] I'm just trying to eke out a little bit for myself,

[00:29:08] but it falls out of your favor.

[00:29:11] And so how do you see that like the longer

[00:29:15] you've had since the show,

[00:29:17] like how do you see that relationship in that arc?

[00:29:21] First of all, I think that's really beautiful

[00:29:23] how you describe it and I,

[00:29:26] and it is like a sweet pain because it,

[00:29:32] I think it goes to how rigid we can be about

[00:29:38] where that line is between acceptable and not acceptable.

[00:29:44] And the power of our imagination, you know,

[00:29:49] that someone that is not on my side

[00:29:53] of what I think is acceptable is fighting me

[00:29:56] and like is so far on the extreme.

[00:30:02] Yeah, I don't know.

[00:30:03] I just, when you talk about it,

[00:30:05] I feel that I remember feeling that emotion

[00:30:10] as that character of, because there is a yearning

[00:30:14] because ultimately what Lane wanted

[00:30:16] is she wanted her mom's acceptance of who she really was

[00:30:20] not the image of the perfect daughter

[00:30:22] but who she really was.

[00:30:24] I want to be seen by you,

[00:30:25] the person I probably love more than anybody in this world

[00:30:28] want to be seen by you and I want to be accepted by you

[00:30:31] and I'm going to be respected by you

[00:30:33] but I want to be understood by you and seen for who I am.

[00:30:36] And so, when she's out of the house

[00:30:39] and she's quote unquote living a life of her choosing

[00:30:42] she's not actually getting what it is that she wants

[00:30:45] because that takes time.

[00:30:48] It takes time for her as a character,

[00:30:51] as a person to understand who she is

[00:30:52] and start living a life where she's doing what she wants

[00:30:55] but it doesn't solve that problem

[00:30:59] of I want you to look in my direction.

[00:31:02] I don't want you to not look at me just because

[00:31:04] I'm doing something different.

[00:31:05] I want you to look at me

[00:31:06] because I care about your opinion about me.

[00:31:08] I want you to respect me.

[00:31:10] And so, I think that that was something

[00:31:11] that was still in the process of taking one step forward

[00:31:18] as those characters kept trying to find

[00:31:21] well where is our footing now as the months pass by?

[00:31:26] Because we don't stop living.

[00:31:27] I don't all of a sudden disappear off this face of the earth

[00:31:30] because I'm not a new roof anymore.

[00:31:33] I'm still living in this tiny town.

[00:31:38] And I think that that's also just as far as a writing standpoint

[00:31:41] I think that that's something that good writing does

[00:31:45] where it doesn't zoom forward so fast.

[00:31:48] It says, okay what is the next step?

[00:31:51] What is the next actual small step

[00:31:53] and where are we now in our relationship to each other

[00:31:56] and where are we the next day

[00:31:58] and then how do we relate to each other then?

[00:32:02] Which I think is good.

[00:32:03] Yeah, when there's a big fissure like that

[00:32:05] you don't just make up and everything's good.

[00:32:08] It's a process to even in the apology

[00:32:13] even in the recovery that has its own kind of arc to it

[00:32:17] and I love that you said that it's because of the writing

[00:32:20] just holding you in each moment

[00:32:21] and I think Gilmore Girls having the opportunity

[00:32:26] over long seasons, long episodes to kind of tell this story

[00:32:30] was really I don't think I'd ever seen a mother-daughter relationship

[00:32:34] like that unfold on TV before.

[00:32:37] Yeah, Asian American religious.

[00:32:40] Yeah, but sorry, come on.

[00:32:41] No, yeah, I think it kind of makes me excited to think about

[00:32:45] like that space.

[00:32:50] What is that space if you treated it well

[00:32:53] with respect and with time?

[00:32:55] What is that space after like a fissure or break

[00:32:58] and how do you deal with trying to in a realistic way

[00:33:03] kind of come back to each other?

[00:33:06] I don't know, that's it.

[00:33:08] I would like to see more of that, especially with women.

[00:33:11] Yeah, especially with women because it's so complicated.

[00:33:14] I think so.

[00:33:15] And then even after let's say you get back to 100

[00:33:18] that relationship is never the same.

[00:33:20] It has to have altered.

[00:33:22] So some things are one, but some things are still lost

[00:33:25] on the other side of every day.

[00:33:29] Hey everyone, I'm Jessica from the Leaving the Village podcast.

[00:33:33] I wanted to take a moment to say thank you for tuning into this show.

[00:33:37] We're so grateful that you've decided to spend your time with us.

[00:33:40] Seriously Dan, Gail, Kathleen, Nate, Scott

[00:33:44] and the rest of us here at the Dauntless Media Collective

[00:33:46] couldn't produce content like the show you're listening to

[00:33:49] without your support.

[00:33:51] I'd also like to invite you even further into the conversation.

[00:33:54] Right now there are some great discussions happening

[00:33:57] over in the Dauntless Media Collective Discord server.

[00:34:01] If you're interested in chatting with other folks

[00:34:03] who are deconstructing and decolonizing

[00:34:05] the oppressive traditions they came from

[00:34:07] please feel free to hop onto the server.

[00:34:10] If you don't know what Discord is

[00:34:11] it's a place where communities can gather online

[00:34:13] for chatting on a wide variety of topics.

[00:34:16] In our Discord server we have channels devoted to

[00:34:19] general deconstruction conversations, some meme sharing

[00:34:23] therapeutic venting about whatever religious bulls***

[00:34:26] you're currently dealing with and even the channel

[00:34:28] specifically devoted to talking about the latest episode

[00:34:31] of the podcast you're listening to right now.

[00:34:33] I hope you'll join us.

[00:34:35] You can log in directly to the Dauntless server

[00:34:37] by clicking on the link in the show notes

[00:34:39] or heading to Dauntless.fm

[00:34:42] and clicking on the link in the top banner.

[00:34:44] See you there.

[00:34:50] I think in line with this moving a little bit ahead

[00:34:54] from the mother-daughter relationship

[00:34:55] to one of my favorite moments where

[00:34:59] so Lane and she ends up marrying this guy named Zach

[00:35:02] but before they get married and when they're engaged

[00:35:05] he's like alright, it's time to bone

[00:35:08] and Lane is like yeah I'm supposed to want to bone

[00:35:12] and they're trying to bone

[00:35:14] and then all of a sudden Lane's like

[00:35:15] I can't have sex before marriage

[00:35:17] and he's like whoa what?

[00:35:20] I think even you know it's like a lot of what Scott

[00:35:24] and I talk about is leaving behind purity culture

[00:35:26] like you know recovering from it

[00:35:29] but a lot of things that like this is

[00:35:33] not often talked about moment where

[00:35:36] you're philosophically

[00:35:40] X-vengellicole or deconstructed

[00:35:42] but you still have all these kind of hardwired

[00:35:45] things within you.

[00:35:47] Can you speak a little bit to that

[00:35:48] and how that duality existed within the character?

[00:35:55] Yeah I think, I mean I kind of even want to ask you guys

[00:35:59] but like it's kind of fun to think about those

[00:36:01] fricking like landmines

[00:36:04] like the secret landmines.

[00:36:07] I thought I healed that.

[00:36:09] I thought I was good.

[00:36:12] Right?

[00:36:13] I mean have you guys had, do you know what I'm talking about

[00:36:15] where you're like oh shoot that came up out of nowhere?

[00:36:18] Yeah we've touched on it in the previous episodes

[00:36:21] and we'll probably keep talking about it

[00:36:23] but yeah absolutely it's a factor.

[00:36:25] Scott has a good one I feel like,

[00:36:27] I know you shared it but can you just reiterate it

[00:36:30] for Kaco slightly just so she can know

[00:36:32] the party in which you totally had to go ahead

[00:36:36] with a... Oh yeah I was offered

[00:36:41] a sexual experience

[00:36:42] from a lovely person and I freaked out

[00:36:45] and ran out of the room.

[00:36:51] Yeah, yeah.

[00:36:53] I thought hell yeah.

[00:36:56] But I think is that what flashed for you?

[00:36:59] You're like I will burn in hell.

[00:37:01] Pretty much.

[00:37:02] The fire comes.

[00:37:02] Pretty much.

[00:37:04] Fricking hell man that's some scary,

[00:37:06] they pick these scariest things.

[00:37:09] Basically they tell you anything

[00:37:11] that you can imagine that will be the worst thing

[00:37:13] that you could possibly imagine that's where it is

[00:37:16] and it will happen.

[00:37:18] There's a place in Singapore called Hopar Village

[00:37:23] and I think it used to be motorized

[00:37:24] but it's basically you can picture like the small world

[00:37:26] except all the little miniature things

[00:37:29] are depictions of hell.

[00:37:31] Different depictions of hell

[00:37:32] and it's everything as mundane

[00:37:34] from not doing your homework

[00:37:36] and you'll be thrown onto like no trees

[00:37:39] or something and it's all like you can look

[00:37:41] at pictures online.

[00:37:42] It's Hopar Village in Singapore

[00:37:44] and it is literally I was like this feels

[00:37:46] like my childhood because

[00:37:48] hell fire is always so near to you

[00:37:51] when you grow up in the church in that way

[00:37:54] but to kind of continue on the point

[00:37:57] it's like I think what purity culture often

[00:37:59] robs us of is the conversations

[00:38:01] of all the nuances

[00:38:03] of things we're going to experience

[00:38:05] and it removes the conversation around

[00:38:09] preparedness because aside from morality

[00:38:12] it's like are you ready?

[00:38:14] Because I think for that moment for Lane Kim

[00:38:16] it's like she realized she wasn't ready

[00:38:18] and even though philosophically

[00:38:20] she's like I'm okay with premarital sex

[00:38:22] I think in that moment she's like

[00:38:24] having this awakening to herself like

[00:38:25] I'm not ready and I need this for myself

[00:38:28] whether it's moral or not

[00:38:29] and then it removes the conversation

[00:38:31] around aftercare, it removes the conversation

[00:38:33] around how being sexual with someone

[00:38:36] is an open dialogue

[00:38:38] you know and I think it just

[00:38:40] purity culture puts everything behind this one curtain

[00:38:44] and you cannot bypass this curtain

[00:38:46] until you hit a certain threshold

[00:38:48] which is marriage

[00:38:49] and once you're through that curtain

[00:38:51] you basically have little to no guidance

[00:38:54] you're just kind of ambling along

[00:38:56] by yourself

[00:38:57] and so I think

[00:39:00] that's why I think that moment for me

[00:39:02] of Lane crystallizing that moment for herself

[00:39:04] was so relatable

[00:39:06] and so important to display

[00:39:09] Yeah

[00:39:10] because there are

[00:39:11] I love how you're talking about

[00:39:13] the fact that there's

[00:39:14] yeah there's no dialogue

[00:39:16] there's no subtlety

[00:39:18] it's everything is black in

[00:39:19] everything is black in a way

[00:39:20] and that lack of

[00:39:22] being able to

[00:39:26] talk to anyone

[00:39:29] you know she can't talk to her partner really

[00:39:32] because that doesn't feel right

[00:39:34] she'd certainly kind of talk to her mother

[00:39:36] you know

[00:39:37] maybe she talks to Rory

[00:39:38] but only when Rory listens

[00:39:43] that's another talk for her

[00:39:44] well that's a whole other topic

[00:39:47] but yeah the fact that it's

[00:39:49] there are no steps

[00:39:51] there are no stages

[00:39:52] there is no process

[00:39:54] there is only

[00:39:56] there's only one marker

[00:39:58] the marriage and then what

[00:40:01] and then does it mean that just

[00:40:02] everything is on the table

[00:40:05] and just one huge sweep

[00:40:07] right

[00:40:07] like does that mean

[00:40:08] where are you don't you have no

[00:40:10] I think maybe some part of it also

[00:40:13] is that you don't feel

[00:40:15] you have no tools

[00:40:17] you have no tools for

[00:40:21] so I would imagine

[00:40:24] it's a very

[00:40:26] incredibly vulnerable feeling

[00:40:28] scary

[00:40:28] yeah very

[00:40:32] very scary and it's supposed to be

[00:40:34] the most celebratory

[00:40:37] freeing feeling

[00:40:37] right and yet I can imagine

[00:40:40] just feeling so

[00:40:41] incredibly unprepared

[00:40:43] and lonely

[00:40:44] and lonely

[00:40:45] and lonely

[00:40:46] yeah I just

[00:40:48] because how do you talk

[00:40:50] about it

[00:40:51] who do you talk to

[00:40:53] and it's like

[00:40:53] I think it's one of these things where

[00:40:55] outside of the Christian culture

[00:40:57] in American culture it's like first

[00:40:58] you kiss then you make out

[00:41:01] then maybe you do other stuff in the car

[00:41:02] and then you lead up to sex

[00:41:04] but I think a lot of what purity culture

[00:41:06] would dictate is that you don't do any of that

[00:41:08] really until you get married

[00:41:10] and all of a sudden you're going from

[00:41:12] never doing anything to expect it

[00:41:14] to put out on your wedding night

[00:41:15] you know and there's no gradations

[00:41:18] there's no gradations

[00:41:20] and it never

[00:41:22] rarely really never is

[00:41:24] yeah

[00:41:25] yeah

[00:41:26] and

[00:41:27] I think that it is a

[00:41:30] travesty it's tragic that

[00:41:32] we don't have

[00:41:35] yeah more I guess it's like

[00:41:36] when you were speaking I was thinking of

[00:41:39] if you're building

[00:41:40] some sort of structure you need to have

[00:41:45] I don't know what it's called but you need to have

[00:41:47] foundation?

[00:41:48] yeah good foundation and then if you have

[00:41:50] like two poles that you're trying to connect

[00:41:52] you can't just try and

[00:41:54] tie a string or like make you

[00:41:56] need something to bolt to either side

[00:41:58] you need these like building points

[00:42:00] of meeting and I feel that with

[00:42:02] purity culture you're

[00:42:04] you're not given any of that you're not building

[00:42:06] something together you're just

[00:42:08] expected to

[00:42:10] merge without any

[00:42:12] like you said without any tools without

[00:42:14] any structural

[00:42:16] connective points and

[00:42:17] and I think it is really sad

[00:42:20] and

[00:42:23] yeah I think it is really

[00:42:25] sad

[00:42:25] and all too common it's

[00:42:29] all too common my students at APU

[00:42:32] could the ones who were

[00:42:33] deconstructing could really relate to

[00:42:35] Lane Kim and

[00:42:36] experiences she went through in through

[00:42:39] purity culture and the marriage

[00:42:41] and yeah

[00:42:43] it Kiko doesn't

[00:42:45] even know how important

[00:42:47] that story art was to

[00:42:49] a lot of people yeah

[00:42:51] or maybe and I think that

[00:42:52] yeah I think that's why I ended up marrying

[00:42:55] a pastor's kid because I think

[00:42:57] like you were saying is like Lane's

[00:42:59] character couldn't talk to Zach because

[00:43:01] Zach couldn't really understand

[00:43:03] or grasp what it is she's been through

[00:43:04] and even with Rory Rory grew up so

[00:43:07] you know just like liberated

[00:43:09] that it was for

[00:43:11] her she was like well just do it

[00:43:13] like you know it's like whatever you're

[00:43:15] comfy with but that's not the paradigm

[00:43:17] that Lane Kim was living under

[00:43:19] yeah I wonder I guess even

[00:43:21] from a performance standpoint

[00:43:23] did you feel

[00:43:25] that that your character couldn't connect

[00:43:27] with somebody else in the conversation of this

[00:43:29] like did you live a little bit

[00:43:31] of that isolation

[00:43:33] um wait you mean did I live

[00:43:35] that or like you playing

[00:43:37] Lane I guess in this moment

[00:43:39] did you feel that as an actress like

[00:43:41] oh she can't communicate with Zach's

[00:43:43] she can't communicate with her mom

[00:43:45] you know because like

[00:43:46] oh yeah I think

[00:43:49] there's some

[00:43:51] there's not some

[00:43:52] there's a lot of baked in frustration

[00:43:54] in Lane I mean also

[00:43:56] they do that on purpose because

[00:43:58] it's a comedy and they try to find some funny

[00:44:00] moments but this

[00:44:02] the push and pull

[00:44:06] within her is a lot

[00:44:08] and I do think that she felt

[00:44:11] like

[00:44:12] um

[00:44:14] I do think

[00:44:16] around that time in her character

[00:44:18] I think she felt like

[00:44:20] you know nobody is

[00:44:22] understanding me

[00:44:23] uh

[00:44:25] I think there was I think that

[00:44:28] was a theme of the frustration of

[00:44:30] um

[00:44:32] not

[00:44:34] uh

[00:44:36] wanting to connect with people

[00:44:38] certainly but not quite finding

[00:44:40] that

[00:44:42] person that

[00:44:44] understood maybe where she was coming

[00:44:46] from and that could

[00:44:48] um

[00:44:50] support her

[00:44:52] in that way

[00:44:53] if I'm remembering correctly

[00:44:55] so we've

[00:44:58] talked about your background Southern Baptist

[00:45:00] but with you know

[00:45:02] with flip flops um

[00:45:04] yes

[00:45:07] Southern Baptist

[00:45:09] flip flops Asian

[00:45:11] Japanese people

[00:45:12] they sing but very politely

[00:45:14] and not a lot of cloudy

[00:45:17] and a little

[00:45:19] paging

[00:45:19] paging going on

[00:45:22] you know the pastors you know

[00:45:24] speaks in paging a little bit

[00:45:25] every once in a while just to

[00:45:28] just to relate to the people

[00:45:31] you know

[00:45:31] um but that background

[00:45:34] included with being

[00:45:35] you know Japanese American

[00:45:37] um

[00:45:38] what was your kind of maybe sexual

[00:45:41] liberation journey like and

[00:45:43] did it parallel

[00:45:45] uh you know playing this character in any

[00:45:47] way um and where are

[00:45:49] you at today

[00:45:51] so I'm thinking Kiko's

[00:45:53] gonna not answer this without

[00:45:55] a couple drinks but

[00:45:59] hahahaha

[00:45:59] you know

[00:46:01] I'll be honest with you uh Scott

[00:46:03] has seen me and well

[00:46:05] you both have seen me in like various

[00:46:07] uh stages of sobriety

[00:46:09] and the drunkenness

[00:46:10] and my answers

[00:46:12] and happiness

[00:46:14] and uh yeah cause sugar and caffeine

[00:46:17] older too but um but yeah

[00:46:19] I think that I have

[00:46:21] a um a very

[00:46:23] sober point of view

[00:46:25] about these types of things

[00:46:27] and then when you know

[00:46:28] and then and then when you know

[00:46:31] uh yeah like three drinks

[00:46:32] very lemon drops in back in the day

[00:46:34] was the lemon drops that's a totally different

[00:46:37] answer um

[00:46:39] or Tito's yes I love

[00:46:41] some vodka any kind of vodka

[00:46:42] um

[00:46:44] yeah I think uh

[00:46:47] are you?

[00:46:48] no we're just asking for it we're fishing

[00:46:50] fishing fishing you know it's funny because

[00:46:53] uh we can tell the listeners but

[00:46:55] like before we actually start hit record

[00:46:56] like I preface that

[00:46:58] the way I view myself

[00:47:00] in general like if I were to

[00:47:02] uh

[00:47:04] uh label myself I would

[00:47:06] say that I

[00:47:08] cake again it probably tends a little bit

[00:47:10] more on the prudish side I mean I use

[00:47:12] that word just cause

[00:47:14] uh I don't know that's the

[00:47:16] that's the word that seems the easiest for me

[00:47:18] to pull from

[00:47:19] um

[00:47:22] I think that I have certain

[00:47:24] ways that I feel comfortable

[00:47:26] for myself and then also

[00:47:28] um

[00:47:30] as an observer of the world that

[00:47:32] you know

[00:47:34] a thousand colors

[00:47:36] and every permutation

[00:47:38] and let's celebrate the

[00:47:40] the sexual expression of

[00:47:42] you know whatever feels good

[00:47:44] and honest to you and there's not hurting anyone

[00:47:46] celebrate

[00:47:48] or hurting them but just a little in a good way

[00:47:50] yeah it's fine

[00:47:52] but yeah if you're into that

[00:47:54] um but so I think

[00:47:56] that that's probably where

[00:47:58] I am I don't know that I had

[00:48:01] changed very much

[00:48:02] although I am 50 years old

[00:48:04] if you asked me like when I was

[00:48:06] 22 I probably would

[00:48:08] probably and I've been married for

[00:48:10] almost 20 years so there's

[00:48:12] you know these are

[00:48:14] you know

[00:48:16] so I think that there's

[00:48:18] um uh

[00:48:21] there's probably

[00:48:22] different uh levels

[00:48:24] of caco that would answer this in

[00:48:26] different ways but I think how I am

[00:48:28] right now is probably with

[00:48:30] that kind of mindset

[00:48:31] and so you're you know you use

[00:48:34] the word prudish but can you

[00:48:36] key us into what you mean

[00:48:37] like break break prudish down for us

[00:48:40] oh um

[00:48:42] oh here's a thing like I don't

[00:48:44] and this is this is

[00:48:45] interesting I think

[00:48:48] might not be interesting but I think it's interesting

[00:48:50] to be an actress

[00:48:52] who I do enjoy being looked at

[00:48:54] but I don't enjoy being looked at at the same

[00:48:56] time and that's not just

[00:48:57] sexually that's just also just like

[00:48:59] you know I don't like people

[00:49:01] looking at me yeah or paying attention to me

[00:49:04] um gone though I

[00:49:07] yeah even

[00:49:08] though I

[00:49:10] um

[00:49:13] so I think when I

[00:49:15] when I think about so that's

[00:49:17] what I mean by prudish I don't

[00:49:19] I don't enjoy

[00:49:20] uh

[00:49:24] that

[00:49:25] gaze necessarily

[00:49:27] um I don't

[00:49:29] on the regular

[00:49:31] um so I guess

[00:49:33] that's part of why I would

[00:49:35] describe myself

[00:49:37] that way

[00:49:39] um because

[00:49:42] because I do appreciate the

[00:49:44] difference because I do see

[00:49:46] um what it looks like

[00:49:48] or at least from an outsider's point of view when

[00:49:50] someone male or female

[00:49:52] um finds

[00:49:54] uh power and confidence

[00:49:56] in seeing themselves

[00:49:58] very much as a

[00:50:00] uh sexual

[00:50:02] being and seeing other people

[00:50:04] um enjoying

[00:50:06] that gaze to them I

[00:50:08] think that that is a certain power

[00:50:10] and a certain expression and I do

[00:50:12] to me I feel different

[00:50:14] that's different so that's

[00:50:16] why I use that word mostly

[00:50:18] I feel that you're using it

[00:50:20] kind of in the maybe

[00:50:22] 18th century way of prudent

[00:50:24] like I don't think of prudent

[00:50:26] versus like prude how

[00:50:28] it's understood today is maybe a

[00:50:30] slightly different connotation I get it you're like prudent

[00:50:32] yeah you're yeah pragmatic

[00:50:34] you're being um

[00:50:36] not being overly showy you know

[00:50:38] I that makes that I'm like

[00:50:40] okay yes I can because when I said

[00:50:42] prudish what do you think what it what

[00:50:44] comes into your brain if I guess

[00:50:46] prude like I think a prude is

[00:50:48] like um to I guess

[00:50:50] the connotation to me is a little more

[00:50:53] sexually averse

[00:50:55] you know a little bit

[00:50:56] like two buttoned

[00:50:58] up legs crossed like you know

[00:51:00] um but I think prudent

[00:51:02] is is is it that

[00:51:04] makes sense that makes for me I'm like oh

[00:51:06] yes I think there is a

[00:51:08] I guess what is it

[00:51:10] it is a uh

[00:51:12] a good balance a good

[00:51:14] push and pull a good um

[00:51:16] a sense of

[00:51:17] propriety but not

[00:51:19] judgy yeah yeah

[00:51:21] yeah that's yeah yeah I don't

[00:51:24] uh I uh hopefully

[00:51:26] I

[00:51:27] I don't give this off but

[00:51:30] I I do yeah that

[00:51:32] part of prudishness is not I

[00:51:33] to judge other people

[00:51:35] no you're like the least

[00:51:37] the least no I'm glad you clarified that

[00:51:40] I mean enjoy life you know yeah

[00:51:42] yeah get it

[00:51:45] sorry Scott what were you gonna say

[00:51:47] oh no that was it that was it

[00:51:48] and uh are we okay on time Kiko

[00:51:51] I just I just wonder I'm

[00:51:52] okay okay to you guys you can just

[00:51:54] chop this up down like

[00:51:56] smooth 15 minutes

[00:51:57] whatever you want

[00:51:59] smooth like Ken's genitals

[00:52:03] okay I do have

[00:52:04] selfish question as we

[00:52:06] wrap wrap and then I want to talk about

[00:52:07] the address at the ends like the

[00:52:09] contrast oh yeah sure oh sure sure

[00:52:11] great idea yes to button up

[00:52:14] the gg of it all

[00:52:16] this is just me being selfish yeah

[00:52:18] the gg of it all do it this is

[00:52:19] your moment this is my moment you

[00:52:21] are so good these questions are great

[00:52:23] no thank you I have two questions in

[00:52:25] mind and so yeah that's good

[00:52:28] I I'm an obsessive

[00:52:30] gg fan

[00:52:31] okay and so this is great

[00:52:33] but

[00:52:35] I know that

[00:52:36] the kind of arc of lane Kim

[00:52:38] was kind of thwarted by another show

[00:52:40] outside of the universe called

[00:52:42] the OC where we

[00:52:44] should rightfully get a lane

[00:52:46] Kim Dave Rogalski

[00:52:47] kind of um you know

[00:52:50] let's say side quest

[00:52:52] yeah so

[00:52:54] what do you think you know just it's

[00:52:56] 2024 what do you think if Lane

[00:52:58] ended up with Dave like what would

[00:53:00] they what would their lives look

[00:53:02] like I know

[00:53:04] right in the in the uh

[00:53:06] you know

[00:53:08] the challenge about that

[00:53:10] because I do think that Dave Rogalski

[00:53:12] was the right person for

[00:53:14] Lane Kim yeah

[00:53:16] he ate so many vegan eggs

[00:53:18] salad sandwiches did so

[00:53:20] much for her

[00:53:22] and I like that kind

[00:53:24] of character because

[00:53:26] I think that all the

[00:53:28] women characters that we love

[00:53:30] deserve that

[00:53:32] kind of attention and support

[00:53:34] um so I think

[00:53:36] you know selfishly I do like that

[00:53:38] but I also really do think

[00:53:40] that

[00:53:40] she has

[00:53:42] two kids that are not adults

[00:53:45] you know and um

[00:53:48] and

[00:53:49] I think that she she has found

[00:53:52] a partner as

[00:53:53] as funny as he is that

[00:53:56] does love her and they have

[00:53:57] their own way about each other so

[00:54:00] it you know I sometimes

[00:54:01] I'll I'll try to go down

[00:54:03] that imaginary Lane of

[00:54:05] what could what could and then I just

[00:54:07] get yanked back and I'm like damn

[00:54:09] she got them kids

[00:54:11] she got them children

[00:54:13] she got the children

[00:54:14] the children of it all

[00:54:18] but maybe you got

[00:54:20] in my head in my canon

[00:54:21] oh please tell me tell me give me

[00:54:24] give me some light here

[00:54:25] maybe you guys

[00:54:27] moved to the O.C. together

[00:54:30] oh

[00:54:34] um maybe

[00:54:35] and what and where are the kids

[00:54:37] this is before the kids

[00:54:39] this is before the kids

[00:54:42] this is just the different time

[00:54:44] like never ever

[00:54:46] ever yeah

[00:54:47] is just your band mate he's

[00:54:49] just a dude in your band

[00:54:51] but in my mind you guys

[00:54:53] moved to the O.C. and

[00:54:55] it's like kind of like

[00:54:57] one of those indie

[00:54:59] girl guy bands

[00:55:01] where you're singing and playing

[00:55:03] drums and he's like the lead singer

[00:55:05] playing like a cool guitar slum

[00:55:07] kinda low

[00:55:09] playing all around the O.C. you know

[00:55:11] and doing church gigs on the weekends

[00:55:13] because that's where you make the money

[00:55:15] yeah they pay well that's kind of true

[00:55:17] that's a little bit of reality

[00:55:19] gotta pepper in that real life

[00:55:21] musician stuff

[00:55:23] and uh

[00:55:24] yeah I feel that

[00:55:27] you're a couple that goes to

[00:55:28] farmers markets every weekend

[00:55:31] I've thought about this way too much

[00:55:33] um and you have two

[00:55:34] really cute

[00:55:36] hoppa babies and uh

[00:55:38] you know you're just uh

[00:55:40] your mom visits during Christmas

[00:55:42] and you still pretend to go to church with her then

[00:55:44] I love it I do think that

[00:55:46] what's funny is that I think that the Dave

[00:55:48] Lane relationship would be

[00:55:50] so um

[00:55:52] uh wonderful that the

[00:55:54] actual interesting relationship is how does

[00:55:56] how does she repair her after leaving

[00:55:58] as a teenager I guess in your fantasy

[00:56:00] how does she repair her

[00:56:02] relationship with their mom

[00:56:03] through lies continue with the lies

[00:56:07] but you know how do we

[00:56:08] yeah something fun

[00:56:10] it is easier to lie across country

[00:56:13] it is easier to lie

[00:56:14] just a little bit just change your zoom

[00:56:16] background you know yeah

[00:56:19] um but yeah

[00:56:20] Dave and Lane for me is always gonna be

[00:56:22] my little corner of fan fiction

[00:56:24] so thank you for letting me kind of just

[00:56:26] I like it if any network

[00:56:28] exactly listening

[00:56:30] you know hit up Priska she's

[00:56:32] got some ideas I've got ideas

[00:56:34] I've got ideas I guess

[00:56:36] I guess I if we were to create that show

[00:56:38] today like a spin-off show I guess

[00:56:40] what it would be is Lane returning

[00:56:42] back to stars hollow to take care

[00:56:44] of maybe her aging mother

[00:56:46] which is which is I think something

[00:56:48] that is also not talked about

[00:56:50] enough just kind of the face

[00:56:52] of life and I think that would be

[00:56:54] it would be a cool

[00:56:56] eight episode miniseries

[00:56:58] and I would

[00:56:59] I would just like Grammy award

[00:57:02] winning Lane Kim return to

[00:57:04] to Grammy award

[00:57:06] winning Lane Kim

[00:57:08] and now the town

[00:57:10] is too small for her britches

[00:57:12] I think we're both in the writers room now so

[00:57:14] I think so yeah

[00:57:15] Caller sounds like one of those hallmark movies

[00:57:19] it is yeah

[00:57:19] it would be a hallmark christmas

[00:57:22] movie oh I guess what the hallmark

[00:57:24] christmas movie would be that you're married to Dave

[00:57:26] you live in the OC you come back to stars hollow

[00:57:28] Zach is there yeah I know

[00:57:30] that's what always happens

[00:57:31] you end up with Zach

[00:57:34] I see you know what we have to do

[00:57:35] I don't know if you guys ever saw

[00:57:38] if you how much Rick and more

[00:57:40] do you ever watch

[00:57:40] but I do love one of that

[00:57:44] one episode where

[00:57:46] the parents

[00:57:47] do watch themselves

[00:57:50] lead different lives where they're separate

[00:57:52] but then they end up coming back

[00:57:54] to each other

[00:57:55] at the end of it where you kind of find

[00:57:58] I know I cry oh my gosh

[00:58:00] that was that was pretty good

[00:58:03] Rick and more the man wouldn't that be

[00:58:05] wouldn't that be interesting though

[00:58:07] in our fan fiction world that

[00:58:08] all of the because I do love Todd

[00:58:11] low but all of the crap

[00:58:12] that he gets if you had a Jerry

[00:58:15] moment yeah Todd

[00:58:16] low is Jerry from Rick and Morty but if you

[00:58:18] have that moment for him where you're

[00:58:20] like but wait a minute

[00:58:22] yeah maybe there is

[00:58:24] something there that is undeniable

[00:58:27] and then there's this this crazy healing

[00:58:29] moment that happens yeah

[00:58:30] myself too then I'd be like oh I think

[00:58:33] we've pretended to be in the writer's room

[00:58:34] for two minutes and we've already started

[00:58:37] to come to that conclusion

[00:58:38] I think the whole story of

[00:58:42] I think the inevitability

[00:58:44] I think you're totally right there is

[00:58:45] just inevitable what is it

[00:58:47] yeah is it with those two

[00:58:49] and Todd

[00:58:51] low played Zach so well

[00:58:53] and there were so many sweet sweet

[00:58:55] sweet moments funny guy

[00:58:56] yeah and I do wish for the revival

[00:58:59] that it was a little more creative

[00:59:01] what they ended up doing but I guess

[00:59:02] it is really realistic to end up

[00:59:05] being kind of a townie doing music

[00:59:06] in your own backyard yeah our

[00:59:08] backyard just tends to be LA so

[00:59:10] feels different for us you know

[00:59:12] but we're spoiled a little

[00:59:14] spoiled a little being in LA

[00:59:16] but Scott thank you for

[00:59:19] letting me kind of just jump in

[00:59:20] with my Gilmore Girls fan hat

[00:59:22] and Kaco thank you for

[00:59:24] letting me on that journey with you

[00:59:26] this has been a dream come true

[00:59:28] but I know Scott you have some burning questions

[00:59:31] some prodigal son

[00:59:32] yeah so you go on to

[00:59:33] you did a lot of things but

[00:59:35] you played Dr. Idrisa Tanaka

[00:59:38] on the prodigal son show

[00:59:40] which was like

[00:59:42] the complete opposite character

[00:59:44] from Lane Kim there were

[00:59:45] moments in that and first of all you were

[00:59:48] brilliant you were funny

[00:59:50] aww so good thank you

[00:59:51] and very sex positive and kind of kinky

[00:59:53] and there were moments there were scenes where we were watching as a family

[00:59:56] this is all during the pandemic so we're all

[00:59:58] locked down and huddled in front of the TV

[01:00:00] and watching the show

[01:00:02] and we would have to like be like

[01:00:03] oh I feel like I should look away

[01:00:05] because Kaco's acting

[01:00:08] kind of sexy right now

[01:00:09] and I don't know how to respond to this

[01:00:13] what was that like

[01:00:14] was it

[01:00:15] was it a departure for you or was it fun

[01:00:17] to be that kind of wild

[01:00:20] flirty sexual person

[01:00:21] on screen yeah

[01:00:23] well Idrisa I

[01:00:26] really really loved playing and I think

[01:00:28] the super fun thing about her

[01:00:30] is that she is

[01:00:31] she has these parts to herself

[01:00:34] that are so different

[01:00:35] they don't feel like they should be in the same person

[01:00:38] and one of those things

[01:00:40] is that yeah she's very free

[01:00:42] sexually and she doesn't have any

[01:00:45] she sees nothing wrong

[01:00:46] with it at all she doesn't

[01:00:48] she doesn't have

[01:00:51] certain

[01:00:53] prejudices

[01:00:54] in her mind about a lot of things

[01:00:55] you know gore and murderers

[01:00:58] and serial killers

[01:01:01] that's so fun

[01:01:02] for her to

[01:01:03] be

[01:01:05] so I

[01:01:07] did like that

[01:01:09] about playing that in her

[01:01:11] of saying oh well you just take

[01:01:13] that out that whatever it is

[01:01:15] that I have in my

[01:01:17] mind that would judge

[01:01:19] me for saying certain things

[01:01:21] you just kind of

[01:01:24] remove it

[01:01:25] and

[01:01:27] that for her

[01:01:29] is

[01:01:32] completely acceptable

[01:01:33] and has there's

[01:01:35] nothing about that that is

[01:01:38] there's no shame

[01:01:39] but she has no shame about certain things

[01:01:41] yeah yeah

[01:01:43] because in so many I don't know

[01:01:45] were you ad-libbing you would say something dirty

[01:01:47] like something

[01:01:49] someone would say something and you respond

[01:01:51] with the equivalent of like that's what she said

[01:01:53] but with kink

[01:01:55] and lots of layers or something

[01:01:56] and people you know the other

[01:01:59] no that's the writers

[01:02:02] they wrote

[01:02:03] they baked all of that in

[01:02:06] after

[01:02:07] I guess like after playing that character for a time

[01:02:09] would it have an effect on you

[01:02:11] in the following weeks like would you feel a little more

[01:02:15] saucy

[01:02:16] oh Prisca

[01:02:17] I was like let me

[01:02:19] find out about Kiko

[01:02:21] little digging

[01:02:22] we need to be talking about this at Farbar

[01:02:25] it would go a lot further

[01:02:26] I know

[01:02:28] it's got like we should have

[01:02:30] make a note we'll circle back

[01:02:32] take a shot I know

[01:02:34] you'll be like wait a minute

[01:02:37] I think that

[01:02:39] you know

[01:02:40] do you like how my voice just changes

[01:02:43] when I get all official

[01:02:44] but what I think

[01:02:46] what would I use my official opinion

[01:02:50] I know how the internet works

[01:02:52] I know how recordings work

[01:02:53] this will come back to me no matter

[01:02:56] when I say fair fair fair fair

[01:02:58] fair fair fair fair fair fair fair fair fair

[01:02:59] yeah yeah

[01:03:01] we'll talk about it at Farbar

[01:03:03] but I did love

[01:03:06] but I did love being able to

[01:03:08] play

[01:03:09] I did love getting to play her she was

[01:03:11] super fun

[01:03:12] is there a world in which

[01:03:15] Lane Kim could have become

[01:03:17] doctor

[01:03:18] I was gonna ask that

[01:03:19] on the same wavelength

[01:03:21] what's the through line what's the connection

[01:03:23] if there is one

[01:03:28] that's a good question

[01:03:30] to me I don't think so

[01:03:33] but if there was someone

[01:03:34] I could see

[01:03:36] as an audience member

[01:03:40] maybe seeing that

[01:03:41] I think for me because I know

[01:03:44] them in the way that I know them

[01:03:46] and the backstory

[01:03:47] that I've built for both of them that doesn't

[01:03:50] to me it doesn't feel like that

[01:03:51] that's just because I'm looking at them from different

[01:03:53] points of view but like they live

[01:03:55] somewhere different in your body

[01:03:58] uh

[01:04:00] maybe a little

[01:04:02] I didn't even thought about that

[01:04:03] but

[01:04:05] maybe a little seems like

[01:04:07] Dr. Idrisa Tanaka

[01:04:09] is who Lane could have been

[01:04:11] without purity culture

[01:04:12] if she had been raised the same way

[01:04:15] like what Rory

[01:04:16] was you know with

[01:04:19] freedom and limitations

[01:04:21] or maybe not because of the culture

[01:04:23] right because of the Korean culture

[01:04:25] or maybe

[01:04:26] I think that the one thing

[01:04:29] that they have that's similar

[01:04:31] that

[01:04:33] is also just

[01:04:33] it tends to be

[01:04:36] what I gravitate to

[01:04:39] whenever I play any character

[01:04:40] or at least the ones that I book

[01:04:42] is that they're both obsessive

[01:04:43] so Lane is obsessive about music

[01:04:46] she loves music and I think in the same way

[01:04:49] that Idrisa Tanaka

[01:04:50] is obsessive about dead bodies

[01:04:53] and serial killers

[01:04:54] and medicine and science in that way

[01:04:57] um

[01:04:57] so I think maybe that's also

[01:05:00] why they don't seem because I think

[01:05:02] that they each have

[01:05:04] their one true love

[01:05:06] as far as interest

[01:05:08] and to me they're different

[01:05:09] Lane has space

[01:05:12] for music in her heart

[01:05:15] besides the romantic space

[01:05:16] but Idrisa

[01:05:18] and there's no space for anything else really

[01:05:20] and for Idrisa it's a similar thing

[01:05:22] like there's that one space

[01:05:23] although Idrisa is obsessed with

[01:05:26] her

[01:05:28] Malcolm Bright

[01:05:29] she was very obsessed with him

[01:05:31] I think these two characters co-hosting

[01:05:34] a podcast would be pretty epic

[01:05:37] well you know

[01:05:38] I think what is fun is because

[01:05:40] Lane I also think is

[01:05:42] very aware, socially aware

[01:05:44] Lane unfortunately

[01:05:47] or fortunately

[01:05:48] has had to

[01:05:49] because of the way that she is raised

[01:05:51] was forced to look at things from

[01:05:54] everyone else's perspective and think about everyone else

[01:05:57] maybe there's a little bit

[01:05:58] of a people pleaser in her in that way

[01:06:00] um whereas I think

[01:06:03] Idrisa

[01:06:04] there's just blind spots

[01:06:05] she is not socially aware of what other people

[01:06:08] she finds that difficult of seeing

[01:06:10] so in a pot

[01:06:11] if they were talking together I actually would kind of enjoy that

[01:06:14] because Idrisa would blur

[01:06:16] Idrisa would just blurts

[01:06:17] she doesn't know how she's being

[01:06:20] received at all and I think Lane would

[01:06:22] be hyper aware

[01:06:24] of exactly pulling that person in

[01:06:26] hyper aware

[01:06:28] of how embarrassing

[01:06:30] what Idrisa is saying

[01:06:31] and how that affects other people

[01:06:32] and seeing all of the repercussions of it

[01:06:35] would be fun to see them together

[01:06:36] I mean you know maybe one day we'll see it

[01:06:39] maybe one day

[01:06:41] maybe that's what

[01:06:42] listeners can look forward to

[01:06:45] it would be an epic edit

[01:06:47] by Scott just kind of getting these two characters

[01:06:49] in a bit together

[01:06:50] you have time right Scott? I thought that you just have a ton of free time

[01:06:54] well some days

[01:06:54] yeah you have time to

[01:06:55] record both lines of dialogue

[01:06:58] and cut them together in an overlapping fashion

[01:07:03] but yeah I want to respect your time

[01:07:05] thank you so much for spending this time with us

[01:07:07] Kiko we did it

[01:07:09] we did it

[01:07:10] this has been a dream come true my heart feels so happy

[01:07:15] my sister's doing a rewatch

[01:07:16] of Gilmore girls right now

[01:07:17] so I think I'll probably go join her

[01:07:19] she's in the next mirror I'm not kidding

[01:07:22] but yeah I think

[01:07:23] truly as a person you're so incredible

[01:07:26] and these characters that you've played

[01:07:28] they've had such a deep impact on my life

[01:07:30] and the lives of so many

[01:07:31] and we're so grateful for you

[01:07:33] and it was cool to see

[01:07:35] in prime time a character

[01:07:37] dealing and struggling and railing against

[01:07:39] and also living under the consequences

[01:07:41] of purity culture

[01:07:42] and look at where we are today

[01:07:44] look at us thank you guys for having me

[01:07:48] I really I love you both

[01:07:49] and thank you for doing this

[01:07:51] show it's really great it's very great

[01:07:53] an important topic to talk about

[01:07:55] so I thank you for letting me into your space

[01:07:59] we love you

[01:08:00] muah muah muah

[01:08:03] your body is a temple

[01:08:06] oh my gosh

[01:08:09] that was that was so nice

[01:08:14] beside myself Scott

[01:08:15] I'm vibrating I'm so excited

[01:08:17] the Gilmore girl fan in you

[01:08:19] is it's just got you got a big hug

[01:08:22] yeah there that was some inside

[01:08:24] stuff I feel do you feel like

[01:08:26] I represented the fandom well you

[01:08:28] you killed it you you were totally

[01:08:29] it those are like those were like

[01:08:31] some good questions too

[01:08:33] thank you think I've been waiting 18

[01:08:35] years to ask them yeah I mean we kind

[01:08:38] of probably sprang it on her like

[01:08:39] with the depth of our questions

[01:08:41] and and she was

[01:08:43] she was great she was so cool

[01:08:45] she was so game

[01:08:47] and you know like

[01:08:49] you were saying we're very good friends with Kaco

[01:08:50] in real life but it's one of those things where we just know each other

[01:08:53] as people it's very rare to get

[01:08:54] to geek out and fan out like that and so

[01:08:57] this was a very cool opportunity

[01:08:59] and she she just exceeded

[01:09:01] all of our expectations as she

[01:09:03] always does yeah she's always

[01:09:04] surprising us that way yeah

[01:09:06] now did it make you want to watch

[01:09:09] prodigal son now oh

[01:09:11] 100% yeah I am

[01:09:13] downloading whatever episodes

[01:09:14] and yeah I'm just looking for her name on

[01:09:16] IMDB and adding those episodes

[01:09:18] two seasons and it was a bomber when it got

[01:09:20] canceled because they had to sort of wrap up the series

[01:09:22] so the ending was not satisfying

[01:09:24] but she was so

[01:09:26] good like for we were it was during the pandemic

[01:09:28] my daughter decided

[01:09:30] for like a minute that she wanted to be

[01:09:32] a corner like like Dr.

[01:09:34] Adresa oh yeah

[01:09:36] wow rough but

[01:09:38] a good line of work but

[01:09:40] yeah not for the faint

[01:09:42] no and so like

[01:09:44] watching her play that role

[01:09:46] was so fun for us

[01:09:48] knowing her as we do yeah

[01:09:50] because you talk about opposite of lane

[01:09:52] Kim oh right she's into kink

[01:09:54] whoo and she dates

[01:09:56] you know she's got a crush on the main character

[01:09:58] then she's always flirting with him like

[01:10:00] overtly flirting with him

[01:10:02] and she's got a fascination

[01:10:04] with like dead people

[01:10:06] in weird situations

[01:10:08] what a what a healing

[01:10:10] moment just like Kiko right just like

[01:10:12] Kiko basically that's exactly how she is

[01:10:14] but yeah what a healing moment

[01:10:16] kind of for people that may

[01:10:18] have lived a lane Kim esque life

[01:10:20] to see her then embody

[01:10:22] this character that's so open that's so ready

[01:10:24] to be you know kinky

[01:10:26] and to be open and to you know flirt

[01:10:28] shamelessly and to

[01:10:30] you know be

[01:10:32] expressive with their body in ways that

[01:10:34] you know may probably and Kim probably never would have

[01:10:37] right conceived of right

[01:10:39] I have to admit it was a little uncomfortable

[01:10:41] to watch as her friend

[01:10:43] I felt like I was sure I wanted to shield my eyes

[01:10:45] in a couple scenes

[01:10:46] we are also very good friends with her husband so I can

[01:10:49] understand yeah and he's totally she's totally

[01:10:51] cool with it yeah yeah

[01:10:53] he's he's great about it but we want

[01:10:55] to thank Kiko so much for coming on our show

[01:10:57] and for speaking so honestly

[01:10:59] about purity culture

[01:11:01] and about how the character that she played

[01:11:04] um

[01:11:04] was a real like really representative

[01:11:07] of it right you know and represented

[01:11:10] representative of everything we talk about here

[01:11:13] on our little podcast so yeah

[01:11:16] um yeah

[01:11:17] so please send us in

[01:11:20] like maybe a DM on

[01:11:21] Instagram of oh we have a

[01:11:23] we have a Gmail huh we have a Gmail

[01:11:25] and an Instagram okay what's our Gmail

[01:11:27] hornychapel at Gmail

[01:11:29] hornychapel at Gmail wasn't taken

[01:11:31] no that's that's where the only one

[01:11:34] one well email

[01:11:36] us at hornychapel

[01:11:38] at gmail.com

[01:11:39] and if you watched Gilmore Girls like I did

[01:11:42] growing up or you know you're re-watching

[01:11:44] it right now please send us a little

[01:11:45] note drop us a line

[01:11:47] and if you're a Kiko fan

[01:11:50] we'd love to hear about your experiences

[01:11:51] and if you

[01:11:53] are recovering from purity culture

[01:11:56] as well we'd love to hear from you

[01:11:57] hornychapel at gmail.com I'm still shocked

[01:12:00] that it wasn't taken

[01:12:00] nop stars

[01:12:03] alright so I guess we'll be back with another episode next time

[01:12:07] okay

[01:12:07] we'll miss you

[01:12:09] but until then

[01:12:10] remember your body is a temple

[01:12:12] and don't touch that penis

[01:12:14] the best tie in your calf leg skirt

[01:12:44] sit up straight

[01:12:46] and try not to blur

[01:12:48] all your dirty little thoughts

[01:12:52] hide the puce-eyed

[01:12:54] flirts

[01:12:54] true love

[01:12:56] and love

[01:12:56] waste

[01:12:57] fucking ain't worth the

[01:13:00] love

[01:13:04] hornychapel

[01:13:06] horny

[01:13:09] years of

[01:13:10] chapels

[01:13:12] time for

[01:13:16] hornychapel

[01:13:18] hornychapel

[01:13:18] don't you

[01:13:19] dare touch

[01:13:20] that penis

[01:13:23] penis

[01:13:24] don't

[01:13:25] don't touch it

[01:13:26] don't

[01:13:28] don't

[01:13:28] don't touch it

[01:13:35] don't

[01:13:36] put on your best tie in

[01:13:39] your calf leg skirt

[01:13:42] sit up straight

[01:13:44] and try not to blur

[01:13:46] all your dirty little

[01:13:49] thoughts hide the

[01:13:50] puce-eyed

[01:13:51] flirts

[01:13:53] true love

[01:13:55] waste

[01:13:55] fucking ain't worth the

[01:14:02] hornychapel

[01:14:04] horny

[01:14:06] years of

[01:14:08] chapels

[01:14:10] time for

[01:14:14] hornychapel

[01:14:15] hornychapel

[01:14:16] don't you

[01:14:17] dare touch

[01:14:18] that penis

[01:14:20] don't touch that

[01:14:22] penis

[01:14:22] don't you

[01:14:24] feel so good

[01:14:27] feel so

[01:14:28] very bright

[01:14:30] feel so

[01:14:32] good

[01:14:33] feel so

[01:14:34] good

[01:14:37] feel so

[01:14:38] good

[01:14:39] feel so

[01:14:50] good

[01:14:50] your body is a temple

[01:14:52] your body is a

[01:14:54] temple

[01:14:55] your body is a temple

[01:14:58] your body is a

[01:15:00] temple

[01:15:01] don't touch it

[01:15:02] put on your best tie in

[01:15:07] your calf leg skirt